I love my child more than I love food

I am not sure how to do this, but I feel it is about time for me to stop complaining about weight problems(mine as well as others) and start to do something proactive. I am not sure how this is going to help but hopefully by blogging my journey to overcome this issue I  can help some one starting with myself.

I feel compelled to do this because I have daughters and I would like to be here to care for them and play with them and enjoy all that life has to offer. I must admit here and now that I know that I am not the fattest person in the world but at 191.5 and 5 ft 4inches I have a long way to go before I can see myself as a shinning example of what my healthy body weight should be.

I have not always struggled with my weight, in fact I stayed between 119 and 125 most of my adult life until I hit my 30’s. I can not say that it was a big depression that led to my weight gain because in fact when I started to gain weight I was actually the happiest I had been in a long time. At 31 I start my own business in the tree care industry(more on that in a later post) and I was finally at peace with myself and secure with who I am in life and I was very confident about what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.  However I did grow up in a family that loved food and food was a way to celebrate or sooth. Meaning if we were happy we ate, if we were sad we ate, if we were angry we ate and to show someone we loved them we ate with them. The foods always consisted of something fried, barbequed or buttered. Even now writing this I can smell the food of my childhood.

The industry I came from prior to starting my tree care company was in marketing and sales. The people were young, slim and attractive. We sold health and nutritional product so we had a tendency to attract people that were health conscious. No one told us we had to stay thin but being in that environment you just kinda knew to be cool you had to be fit and look good.  After I started my company I did not feel the subconscious pressure to stay thin and I was working around hard working men so I started eating like hard working men and the weight just started to pile on. It was not all at one time, it was gradual. Every 6 months or so I noticed that I was 5 or 10 pounds heavier but I did not care because I was happy even though running a business can be stressful I was at least doing my own thing and playing by my own rules until one day I looked up and I was fat.

I am now a mother of 2 with a wonderful husband and I see now that the choices I make impact me as well as my family. I was watching a program on cnn about a child that was bullied because she was fat and I thought how sad and then I saw the mother and she was pushing at least 400 pounds and I thought “wow that mom is not being a good example to her daughter and that her mom was in some way abusing her daughter by being such a bad example.” Then I realized that even though I am not 400lbs I am still a mom that is not being a good example for her daughters and that is why I have decided that now it is time to do something.

My commitment is to eat clean, work out 5 times a week, make good choices at the grocery store for my family and to not make excuses to put bad foods into my body. I hope that I can help someone with my journey. Much love and peace. I will keep you posted.

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