Right Now!

I am sitting here with my headphones on listening to Michael McDonald in concert on YouTube in my family room and my girls are sitting on the couch watching some show about building something and then destroying it and I am overwhelmed with peace and joy.

I remember when these songs by Michael came out. I remember loving someone and for what ever reason the relationship did not work out. I remember when Micheal’s music played regularly on the radio with Kenny Loggins, Toto, Ashford and Simpson, The Gap Band, Journey,  The Doobie Brothers, Stix, Franky Beverly and Maze and many others (eclectic taste in music).  I remember wishing for a better life and I remember still loving the life I had.  I remember working in retail and meeting some amazing people and partying together.  I remember fun nights,  great sex, smiling faces,  fashion, bright lights, bright colors, drinking to much and being skinny.  I remember the good times! I had so much fun! I remember being an assistant manager and then a manager and I remember being one of the top sales people.  I remember nights redoing the windows in my store.  I remember “fun” after hours in the stores. 

I knew I was going somewhere but I did not know exactly how I was going to get there. I just knew I was going to work hard and have fun and I knew I was going to get there. Where ever there is……is now.  I love my amazing husband and my beautiful girls.  In my mind I am still working hard but in reality I can breath now. I love harder now and my heart feels safe.  I know my heart belongs to a man that only wants me. My girls amaze me with their kindness and beauty.  I am so thankful.  I know I went through some crazy stuff as a kid but my friends in my late teens and through out my twenties were and are amazing!  Some I see and some I only see through social media.  I am so thankful for the fun but I am also thankful for them hanging out with me along the path to now:)….even if it was just for a short period of time.  I am living what I dreamed of…the pieces all fell into place.  Back then I only had glimpses of what it would look like but I knew clearly what it would feel like.  I am living that feeling right now…right now my husband just sat down on the edge of the couch with my girls and the three of them are cuddled up and laughing out loud at the tv… I am right where I am supposed to be;)

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