Today started off so awesome and ended not so awesome. I did not use it as an excuse to over eat or to indulge in unhealthy foods. I am now at home and I stayed positive until the very last minute of my work day…however now that I am home I kinda want to whine and complain about how this or that did not go right but I know from experience that does not do anything to help the situation. So I am releasing this day and looking forward to tomorrow. To those I let down today I will apologize and to those that let me down I forgive you. Life is amazing even when it doesn’t feel so amazing. It really is all good and I must remember that. I feel better already:)
There is this fascination with starting things off in the new year which I do understand however I am choosing not to participate. I am choosing to start or should I say continue with this years resolution. I am continuing with my goal of working out, loosing weight and making more money(providing more and better service to the market place). I believe that by tweeking my goals and staying on my original plan (this years resolution) that I will get further ahead. I have fallen off the wagon of my goals several times this year but I tried not to beat myself up mentally and emotionally. By doing this I can honestly say that I have been more active this year than I have ever been in the last 15 years. I have had more fun, participated in unique activities, kept my kids active and have over come obstacles better because of my decision to stick with the plan even if I fall off for a while. Let’s continue with our original resolution and on January 1 continue to build on what we have accomplished this year even if we feel that we did not accomplish as much as we should have. We can still hit the gym, eat clean and provide more and better service in the market place on a daily basis. My goal is to keep my goals, build on my progress this year and make new goals once my current goals are accomplished. Happy Early New Year!!!! Rock on:)
Today is turning into a great day, not because anything great is happening but because this has started off as a horrible day however I am choosing to make it a great day. We have a choice!! I mean if you were to sit me down right now at 1:30 Saturday afternoon and ask me what was so great today I would have to say nothing but you know what I will never say that because regardless of the craziness….there is always more good than bad in this world…that is a fact. So what is good on a day like today. My good is that I have the ability to type (right now), beautiful family, I am breathing, great friends, I can walk and talk, compassion for others, a positive attitude and the ability to think, plan and demand that any challenges that I am facing right now will be absolutely miniscule next week, next month or next year. I actually feel better right now because I choose to feel better:) Life is good!! Rock on!!
I use to feel a little unworthy because even though I have had some challenges in life and in business I really do not work that hard to do what I do for a living. I have always loved sales and actually my first real job was in sales. As a child I worked for my dad in the tree care industry but I did not consider that a real job because he did not pay me(go figure). I felt unworthy sometimes because even when things got hard there was something inside of me that would rise up and give me the strength to go on. I did not know what this was at first and then I realized that with everything I went through I had people in my life that would give me advise, or they would tell me about a book I should read, or I would be shown a motivational video or I would go to a seminar or just talk to God. I felt a little unworthy because some things came so easily for me, like talking to people or standing up for what I believe in or having the energy to keep going in difficult times. Now there are some people that are just born into very fortunate situations but I was not one of them. I was born into a difficult, depressing and abusive family. Then one day I realized that I am worthy just because………..I am worthy because even though I was born into a bad situation I made a choice to use the energy and brain that I was blessed with to seek out mentors, read books, go to seminars, pray and actually take the advise that was shared with me by some wonderful men and women. I am worthy because I chose to look at my father and realize that he was a great example of what I did not want in husband. However I also chose to look at him and learn that even though he was a horrible person he was a hard worker and he could be very charming when he wanted to be and that it was important to work hard and make people laugh. I am worthy because I learned from my mother that in life you have a choice to either stay or leave a bad situation. My mother put up with the physical and mental abuse from my dad. She would sit in the kitchen with a bloody and swollen face and look at me and tell me not to be like her. She told me to go be somebody. She told me that I should get an education and read books. She even went so far to say “Don’t you be like me” and sure enough I am nothing like her but I did learn that even though at the time I thought it was weakness, that it does take a weird type of strength to stay in a situation like that (I do not want that kind of strength). I am worthy because I chose a profession that is very lucrative and uses my natural abilities. I chose to LISTEN to my heart AND my instincts and married a nice guy that is a bit of a geek and has an amazing heart. I chose to get rid of people in my life that are toxic. I chose to keep going even when I felt liked quitting. I MADE THOSE CHOICES THEREFORE I AM WORTHY!!!
This really is it. Now is the best time to do anything and to work towards your dreams. What ever “it” is will not become anything without us realizing that “this is it” and now is the time to make “it” a reality. I know this to be true in all aspects of life. For now my “it” is the reality of having a lean and healthy body. My “it” is my life(family, friends, business and stuff). My dreams are becoming a reality in front of my eyes and that is really exciting and in many ways I am already living out my dreams(great husband, amazing kids and a business I love) however when I dreamed of living this dream I am living now I did not dream of living with weight issues. Yes, I am doing something about that right now however I must admit that I have worked hard on the dreams that have come true and on the ones that are beginning to come true but I never made a plan or even tried to work on my fitness. Sure I would work out a little here and there but it was never a priority like it is now. I know that for some carrying extra weight is no big deal but for me it is because I feel that my body is a gift and it is my duty to take the better care of it. Kinda like the philosophy of “this life is a gift from God and what you do with is your gift back to God.” I love the thought of living life leaner and healthier. As a wife and mother I think it is important to realize how important your health and weight is to you and your loved ones. It amazes me how many people will take care of businessn in business but because of their health and weight they are too tired to take care of “business” in the bedroom. I have always enjoyed intimacy with my husband however since I have been taking care better care of my body I have more energy and I find that I feel sexier(I always felt sexy:)) but now I feel sexier. lol. So what does that have to do with “this is it” well in my humble opinion to many people are waiting for the right time, right day or right moment and I just feel that the time is now…THIS IS IT…chime in Kenny Loggins…….lol
I fell off of the fitness wagon but I am back on it. I have to admit for some reason this time it was easier to get back on track. I am excited about becoming fit and being a better example for my girls but I also hope that I can help other people that may have issues with their weight and feel like it is impossible. Here is a really cool thing that I realized…I stopped working out as much and I was not as sticking to my new fit lifestyle however I did not gain as much weight back this time as I did last time. I would actually tell you how much I gained but my scale is not working. The reason I know I did not gain as much back is because my jeans still fit (a little snugger) and I can still see my fluffy when I look down;) I know that may not seem like a big deal however I use to be so fat that I could not see my fluffy(pubic hair). I still remember the day I was in the shower and realized that I could look down and see my fluffy. I think I cried a little because at that time it had been at least 8 years since I could do that. I will post how much I gained once I change the battery on my scale. I have also got back on track with work and being consistent with my schedule. It is funny how one area of your life can spill over to the next area. I plan on sticking with my new lifestyle. This is not a diet it is a lifestyly…so what is my new lifestyle…I am glad you asked:
Eat clean(veggies, lean protein and fruit)
Stay healthy(cardio, yoga, not stressing over work and enjoying every day)
Spend quality time with my family(quality time with husband and kids, vacation, church and volunteering)
I am loving the direction my life is taking. I love my life and this weight loss journey has helped me to love it even more. I wish people really understood how powerful eating clean and exercising is. I was just driving yesterday and felt good but something felt a little off then I realized that I hadn’t been to the gym in 4 days because of a snow storm here in Atlanta so I called up one of the women I met at a zumba class and asked her if she wanted to go play tennis. She said yes. We went and played and had so much fun. Now mind you we are not very good in fact we both just started taking lessons in November but still it was great hitting the ball and running around the tennis courts like awkward preteens. I mention this because last night before bed I was tired and a little sore from my little tennis excursion however when I woke up this morning I felt amazing and I slept really well. I felt off yesterday because I have made it a habit to go to the gym and workout 5 days a week and because I hadn’t for 4 days I felt something was off. I also have been eating clean for a while and I do not eat much gluten however when we were snowed in I made pancakes 3 days in a row and even though I only ate 1 each day (ok, 2 on the 2nd day) it still made me feel heavy and mentally a little foggy. I am not a trainer, dietician, doctor or anything like that. I am just a wife, mom and entrepreneur however I would venture to say that if more people would just exercise and eat clean there would be less need for antidepressants and obesity would become a thing of the past. My heart aches sometimes when I think of how I let myself go for so long however I do not focus on that. I am staying focused on the fact that I a moving in the right direction now and for that I am thankful. Have a rocking day!
P.s There are now excuses…even though we were snowed in most of the week I still got out 1 of those days and walked around my neighborhood in the snow. Walking in snow is a great work out and I did get my heart rate up even though I could not go very fast. Because of the effort it took to trudge through snow I got a nice workout. I just really like my gym and I missed it because it is finally a habit:)
190.5 today so I am feeling pretty good. I ate clean today and yesterday but I must admit that I did royally mess up over the weekend or was it Monday. No actually it was Tuesday that I absolutely gorged myself on bbq brisket. I was so sneaky about it that I dropped my family off at the park and told them I had to run and errand(which I did) but what I failed to tell them was that I also wanted to pig out with feeling like a failure. But you know what even though they did not know, I still felt like a failure because I am actually harder on myself than anybody else. I got over feeling bad very quickly because I have learned in the past that feeling bad only leads to bad choices and it also feeling bad is a catalyst for more bad things to happen in life. It really is true our lives are a product of our thoughts. Therefore I chose to pick myself up and keep going. I did not use the term start over because I do not feel I am starting over. I feel like this is just part of the journey.
I am just going to have to be super strict about this eating clean. l like it when I get up and get on the scale and it is going down. Yes I am love the scale. I know that some people say that is not healthy however being 191lbs is not healthy either. The way I see it, the scale help me to confirm when I am making good choices(eating clean and exercising). If you have a eating disorder then I am obviously aware that being scale focused is not a good thing. I have an eating disorder meaning I order to much when I go out to eat. I am not trying to be politically correct or say all the right things pertaining to weight loss, I am just sharing my journey with people so that hopefully I can help someone and also hold myself accountable for my choices. Have a rocking day:)