Right Now!

I am sitting here with my headphones on listening to Michael McDonald in concert on YouTube in my family room and my girls are sitting on the couch watching some show about building something and then destroying it and I am overwhelmed with peace and joy.

I remember when these songs by Michael came out. I remember loving someone and for what ever reason the relationship did not work out. I remember when Micheal’s music played regularly on the radio with Kenny Loggins, Toto, Ashford and Simpson, The Gap Band, Journey,  The Doobie Brothers, Stix, Franky Beverly and Maze and many others (eclectic taste in music).  I remember wishing for a better life and I remember still loving the life I had.  I remember working in retail and meeting some amazing people and partying together.  I remember fun nights,  great sex, smiling faces,  fashion, bright lights, bright colors, drinking to much and being skinny.  I remember the good times! I had so much fun! I remember being an assistant manager and then a manager and I remember being one of the top sales people.  I remember nights redoing the windows in my store.  I remember “fun” after hours in the stores. 

I knew I was going somewhere but I did not know exactly how I was going to get there. I just knew I was going to work hard and have fun and I knew I was going to get there. Where ever there is……is now.  I love my amazing husband and my beautiful girls.  In my mind I am still working hard but in reality I can breath now. I love harder now and my heart feels safe.  I know my heart belongs to a man that only wants me. My girls amaze me with their kindness and beauty.  I am so thankful.  I know I went through some crazy stuff as a kid but my friends in my late teens and through out my twenties were and are amazing!  Some I see and some I only see through social media.  I am so thankful for the fun but I am also thankful for them hanging out with me along the path to now:)….even if it was just for a short period of time.  I am living what I dreamed of…the pieces all fell into place.  Back then I only had glimpses of what it would look like but I knew clearly what it would feel like.  I am living that feeling right now…right now my husband just sat down on the edge of the couch with my girls and the three of them are cuddled up and laughing out loud at the tv… I am right where I am supposed to be;)

Thankful for the pain:)

I am thankful for my family
I am thankful for my business
I am thankful for my ability to persist
I am thankful for my life….

The pain and the process…there are some people that just get it. They make fewer mistakes. They make a plan and follow with very few distractions…that is not my story.

The pain:

My father was an abusive ass. My dad was charismatic and funny. My dad was a lying delusional idiot. My dad was a very intelligent and resourceful person.  I am thankful for the pain of growing up with a father that was a living example of Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde. Why because being in that environment allowed me to know what I did and did not want in a husband.  Growing up in that environment also allowed me to be sensitive to other people that come from abusive situations but it also provided me with the insight that, if we choose, we can have a better future if we make better choices.

The pain:

We had the opportunity to grow up in a decent socioeconomic environment but we also had parents that did not manage money well. I was introduced to the mlm industry where I had great mentors but I also was introduced to some of the sleziest people you could ever meet.  I was also introduced to some of the smartest,  kindest and successful people.  I learned the value and importance of building wealth. I dedicated 7 years of my life to a company that eventually wound up in the toilet.  Painful.  But seeing that happen inspired me to REALLY start my own business. Thankful!

The pain:

Watching my dad go to work every day and work from sun up to sundown, regardless of the weather or circumstances, instilled in me a strong work ethic. My dad making us work with him as elementary aged children instilled resentment which turned into fond memories with my sisters and brother.  Being dedicated to a marketing company that was environmentally conscious gave me a bigger appreciation for the planet we call home.  Working with a company that instilled the importance of hard work,  consistency and vision helped me to keep going even when times got hard.  Watching that company become a cest pool of lies and manipulation helped me to discover the type of people that I did not want to be around.  The pain was worth it. The pain had a purpose.  I am happy now because God gave me the strength to overcame the pain and for that I am thankful!

Lunch

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I love Indian food and Tandoori chicken is one of my faves…I try not to get the naan because I am staying away from bread but I do load up on meats and veggies.  Stay away from anything drowned in sauce(hard to do…yummy). I usually post something about the breakfast I eat but I thought it might be good to show what I’m eating for lunch too…..for one thing I’m thinking that might help other people and for two it keeps me accountable;) Rock on!

Avocado and a smile

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2 eggs, turkey sausage and avocado.  I am not going to weigh myself for at  least 2 weeks because I am driving myself crazy! I lost 2 more pounds and I have cleaned up my meals and sure enough I get on the scale and I gained 1 1/2 pounds back but my pants are looser so I am going to go with the loose pants and not drive myself crazy. I am uping my working out also. I know I need to exercise more and get my heart rate up. I dropped off of my working out because I hurt my knee skiing. However I can still work out and do something.  So that is my story and I am sticking to it:) lol

Wow!

All I can say is wow.  I just finished watching the super bowl and the one thing I can say is that even though I was hoping the Seahawks would have won I am thankful for the lesson.  The lesson for me is that no matter how close you are to your goals you have to be careful of the decisions you make(especially when you are so close). From another perspective I learned that if you stay focused under pressure, even when it look like you are going to loose what you have worked so hard for,  you will come out on top. 

This was an awesome game and both teams should be proud!

There are some people that are just good at it!

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I am not one of those people yet and that is ok. When I say “those people” I am talking about people that are good at things that are difficult for me.  For example there are people that love to work out and they do it daily because it is a habit and they love doing it.  I am talking about people that manage their money well and keep track of every dime and they have never EVER bounced a check.  I am talking about people that create fun and interesting games and activities for their kids and every other kid in the neighborhood with very little effort and they enjoy it.  I am talking about people that can see something on Pinterest and can duplicate it exactly.  I am talking about people that walk into a room and can conversate with anyone effortlessly.  I am talking about people that understand all the “grown up big words” that I should know pertaining to finance and business.

Why am I ok with not being one of those people?  I am ok with that because I have learned to love me and to understand that there are things that I am good at that may not seem to impressive but in a pinch usually comes in real handy. For example I like to find the best in a person and compliment and admire them for it, which usually brings a smile to their face.  I can walk into a tense situation and still find peace. I can walk into chaos and find a way to bring order or deligate someone to take charge and bring order.  When taking care of a group of children I am usually the person that the so called “difficult” child gravitates towards and by the end of the day he/she will be one of the most well behaved children in the group and have a smile on his/hers face.  I also have a never quit attitude and even though sometimes I cry…I wont give up:)  I am also ok with not being good at “it” because I have learned that if it is something I really want to do I will learn to be good at it or I will pay someone to be good at it for me…that usually works on everything with the exception of working out.  Lol! So be happy with you regardless of what you are or are not good at.  I still try to do better at the things I am not good.  However, I have found that it is far more productive to focus and work on your strengths and not your weaknesses. Do you!

Just say no to gurus…

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People are not chickens. People are smart.  People are kind. People can love. People are amazing!  People are also gullible,  sad, insecure and lonely and most gurus…even the good ones….play on this.  I am not talking about far out Jim Jones or 60’s communal gurus. I am talking about every day gurus that people follow without thinking about why or thinking about who they are really following. 

I go to church and I love my church however I do not follow religion or agree blindly with every word that a leader says.  For example I actually got into a very intense debate at church with a lady because I believe in gay rights and I believe that people should be allowed to love who they love.  My church does not dictate how this lady thinks and it does not dictate how I think and I have seen a little bit of “everybody” at my church.  We can think differently and still worship together.

I was however involved with a company a long time ago and because of the magnetism of the leader and my desire to be apart of something bigger than me, I allowed myself to become devoted to a man and a company that had some serious ethical issues behind the scene. For example there were instances of abuse of various kind that were swept under the rug. There were leaders that were straight up drug addicts even though we were told to live a clean and healthy lifestyle.   The beautiful part of my experience with that company is that I was taught some very powerful life lessons and my eyes were opened to the fact that I could be more and accomplish more than I ever had in my life up until then.  The sad part is that I wasted a lot of time,  energy and money chasing the Wizard of OZ when in reality everything I needed was right inside of me.  I made that choice to be in that situation.  I must be clear about that.

Back to the guru thing.  What I am trying to say is that there are people out there that want to help people and because of that desire they market an idea, product or service to people.  People then benefit from the idea, product or service and in turn that company or person becomes successful and this success may go to their head.  Instead of using their success for good they use it to manipulate and control people.  In some cases people actually start off trying to manipulate and control people. 

There are so many times since my experience with “that” company that some one has invited me to see “this” man or woman that has all the answers to…. (plug in your subject of choice) and as soon as I walk into the room I can feel the bs factor kick in i.e. everyone talking the same way, everyone saying the same thing, and everyone there is “absolutely amazing” or “absolutely awesome.” I am all for the warm and fuzy feeling.  I live for it but I can’t stand when someone abuses people through manipulation and staging.  You know…..the older guy in the back of the room that looks like a million bucks who is obviously very busy but he takes a moment to shake your hand, look you in the eye and explains how glad he is that you are there and that you are “in for a treat.” Or the beautiful young woman in her 20’s that looks and smells awesome and would fit in at any Hollywood upscale party but nooooo she is there just because she is so excited about what is going on. Or better yet…the lights go down, but not to dark…you can still see the person sitting next to you and there is a buzz in the air and a well dressed gentleman (not overly well dressed just a notch above everone else) comes out on the stage and thanks you for coming and explains how honored he is that you (and 300 others) choose to come today and that you are special just for taking the time to be there. Then he tells you a little about him self and how his life was changed by (your choice of idea, product or service) and then he proceeds to speak well of the person you are ACTUALLY there to see. First he lists a couple of the gurus accomplishments and then he tells a personal story about the guruv and then he says more nice stuff (but not to over the top…the good ones know better) and then he introduces the guru. The guru will either come out and look and speak impressive and look amazing OR he will look ordinary and sometimes less than ordinary but will be a master storyteller but either type will make you feel like “FINALLY,  I have found what I have been missing.”

The reason I am bringing this subject up is because there are people out there that are hurting or they just need a little help to get their life moving in the right direction.  Those people, including myself, need help and many of the ideas, products and services are helpful but people also need to understand how to tap into that universal power that is available to everyone.  We just need to get clear so we can let that power guide and direct us in our lives.  Also I bring this up because now there are so many ways that these gurus can get to people because of technology. There is nothing wrong with gurus doing their job. The problem comes when people stop thinking for themselves and start believing that they are nothing without their guru or that they cannot  navigate life without their guru.  You have what it takes to create an awesome life.  Don’t be a chicken.  Go for it!

Back to weight loss

I am eating clean…for the most part (peach cobbler).  I had an amazing weekend which entailed great food with family and friends but I did not gain any weight but I also have not lost any more. The difference this time is that I am not discouraged…I am actually motivated to stay focused and eat clean and work out.  This is not a diet it is a lifestyle.  I feel good and my tummy feels flatter because  I have been eating less sugar and very little gluten.  Today was a great day!

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Back to weight loss

I am eating clean…for the most part (peach cobbler).  I had an amazing weekend which entailed great food with family and friends but I did not gain any weight but I also have not lost any more. The difference this time is that I am not discouraged…I am actually motivated to stay focused and eat clean and work out.  This is not a diet it is a lifestyle.  I feel good and my tummy feels flatter because  I have been eating less sugar and very little gluten.  Today was a great day!

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