Right Now!

I am sitting here with my headphones on listening to Michael McDonald in concert on YouTube in my family room and my girls are sitting on the couch watching some show about building something and then destroying it and I am overwhelmed with peace and joy.

I remember when these songs by Michael came out. I remember loving someone and for what ever reason the relationship did not work out. I remember when Micheal’s music played regularly on the radio with Kenny Loggins, Toto, Ashford and Simpson, The Gap Band, Journey,  The Doobie Brothers, Stix, Franky Beverly and Maze and many others (eclectic taste in music).  I remember wishing for a better life and I remember still loving the life I had.  I remember working in retail and meeting some amazing people and partying together.  I remember fun nights,  great sex, smiling faces,  fashion, bright lights, bright colors, drinking to much and being skinny.  I remember the good times! I had so much fun! I remember being an assistant manager and then a manager and I remember being one of the top sales people.  I remember nights redoing the windows in my store.  I remember “fun” after hours in the stores. 

I knew I was going somewhere but I did not know exactly how I was going to get there. I just knew I was going to work hard and have fun and I knew I was going to get there. Where ever there is……is now.  I love my amazing husband and my beautiful girls.  In my mind I am still working hard but in reality I can breath now. I love harder now and my heart feels safe.  I know my heart belongs to a man that only wants me. My girls amaze me with their kindness and beauty.  I am so thankful.  I know I went through some crazy stuff as a kid but my friends in my late teens and through out my twenties were and are amazing!  Some I see and some I only see through social media.  I am so thankful for the fun but I am also thankful for them hanging out with me along the path to now:)….even if it was just for a short period of time.  I am living what I dreamed of…the pieces all fell into place.  Back then I only had glimpses of what it would look like but I knew clearly what it would feel like.  I am living that feeling right now…right now my husband just sat down on the edge of the couch with my girls and the three of them are cuddled up and laughing out loud at the tv… I am right where I am supposed to be;)

Avocado and a smile

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2 eggs, turkey sausage and avocado.  I am not going to weigh myself for at  least 2 weeks because I am driving myself crazy! I lost 2 more pounds and I have cleaned up my meals and sure enough I get on the scale and I gained 1 1/2 pounds back but my pants are looser so I am going to go with the loose pants and not drive myself crazy. I am uping my working out also. I know I need to exercise more and get my heart rate up. I dropped off of my working out because I hurt my knee skiing. However I can still work out and do something.  So that is my story and I am sticking to it:) lol

Oatmeal!

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Oatmeal with raisins, bee pollen, sliced almonds and almond milk this morning and since I will not be near the gym today in between jobsites I am going to take a 30 minute walk.  Tony Robbins said people feel better when they are making progress. I must admit that I have made very little progress but I have made some progress.  I am making a concerted effort to stay focuses on my goals. I will not beat my self up for only making a little progress and I am working on my emotional triggers for eating.  It is a little frustrating because I really wish I was “there” already. I am choosing not to think about weight. I am focusing on living and eating healthy and clean.  Have a rocking day!

Back to weight loss

I am eating clean…for the most part (peach cobbler).  I had an amazing weekend which entailed great food with family and friends but I did not gain any weight but I also have not lost any more. The difference this time is that I am not discouraged…I am actually motivated to stay focused and eat clean and work out.  This is not a diet it is a lifestyle.  I feel good and my tummy feels flatter because  I have been eating less sugar and very little gluten.  Today was a great day!

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Back to weight loss

I am eating clean…for the most part (peach cobbler).  I had an amazing weekend which entailed great food with family and friends but I did not gain any weight but I also have not lost any more. The difference this time is that I am not discouraged…I am actually motivated to stay focused and eat clean and work out.  This is not a diet it is a lifestyle.  I feel good and my tummy feels flatter because  I have been eating less sugar and very little gluten.  Today was a great day!

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Trust, Believe, Have Faith

Remember yesterday when I said the day ended on a crappy note….well today ended on a great note. Everything fell into place. What did I do to make that happen….nothing!

Let me clarify. I was so despondent about some news I got last night and I just did not know what to do to fix the situation.  All I could do was put the situation in God’s hands and believe that everything will work out for the best and it did.  I trust God, Spirit, Universe or whatever name you want to give the divine power that exists in and all around us.  God is my word of choice.   All I know is that sometimes when you don’t have the answer and you are tired of trying then the best thing to do is to let go of the situation and believe the best solution will come out in the end even if you don’t know how. I assure you it will.  My heart is happy and my spirit is light and I am feeling really thankful.  Trust, believe, have faith and everything will work out:)