Still holding at 206 and happy…

I am happy to be holding at 206 because it is that time of the month and usually I am 2lbs heavier when I start but not today. Today I am holding and moving forward. Once I heard Tony Robbins suggest having a salad for breakfast and that is exactly what I did this morning. I am having a salad and later today I will do yoga or some interval training for 7-10 minutes.  I am not trying to impress anyone with how much or how little I can do. I am actually just hoping to inspire and encourage someone to come on this journey with me no matter where they are right now.  I know if I can do it you can too!

P. S. I do not delete posts that contradict where I am at right now with my dietary choices. I welcome you to check out how I vacillate between vegetarian, vegan and pescatarian….I still feel a mostly vegan lifestyle is best for me right now because I like the way I feel however I have adopted the term veganish because I like eggs….(singing) I   like   large   eggs   and I can’t deny….lol!!!

Feeling really blessed

I am feeling really great right now.  Today has been an amazing day. I was able to spend the whole day with my family because of the weather.  School was canceled because of the weather and both me and my husband had light schedules so we all just ran errands and hung out together. 

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Today we are also getting the cabinets in our house finished and our kitchen was unavailable for dinner so our friend invited us to her house to hang out and have dinner and it was absolutely amazing.  Life is good!

Right Now!

I am sitting here with my headphones on listening to Michael McDonald in concert on YouTube in my family room and my girls are sitting on the couch watching some show about building something and then destroying it and I am overwhelmed with peace and joy.

I remember when these songs by Michael came out. I remember loving someone and for what ever reason the relationship did not work out. I remember when Micheal’s music played regularly on the radio with Kenny Loggins, Toto, Ashford and Simpson, The Gap Band, Journey,  The Doobie Brothers, Stix, Franky Beverly and Maze and many others (eclectic taste in music).  I remember wishing for a better life and I remember still loving the life I had.  I remember working in retail and meeting some amazing people and partying together.  I remember fun nights,  great sex, smiling faces,  fashion, bright lights, bright colors, drinking to much and being skinny.  I remember the good times! I had so much fun! I remember being an assistant manager and then a manager and I remember being one of the top sales people.  I remember nights redoing the windows in my store.  I remember “fun” after hours in the stores. 

I knew I was going somewhere but I did not know exactly how I was going to get there. I just knew I was going to work hard and have fun and I knew I was going to get there. Where ever there is……is now.  I love my amazing husband and my beautiful girls.  In my mind I am still working hard but in reality I can breath now. I love harder now and my heart feels safe.  I know my heart belongs to a man that only wants me. My girls amaze me with their kindness and beauty.  I am so thankful.  I know I went through some crazy stuff as a kid but my friends in my late teens and through out my twenties were and are amazing!  Some I see and some I only see through social media.  I am so thankful for the fun but I am also thankful for them hanging out with me along the path to now:)….even if it was just for a short period of time.  I am living what I dreamed of…the pieces all fell into place.  Back then I only had glimpses of what it would look like but I knew clearly what it would feel like.  I am living that feeling right now…right now my husband just sat down on the edge of the couch with my girls and the three of them are cuddled up and laughing out loud at the tv… I am right where I am supposed to be;)

I love being a wife

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Call me crazy, call me old fashioned, call me antiquated, call me antifeminist(I’m not)….I call me happy.  I am an entrepreneur however I am also a wife, mom and just a plain ole’ woman:)  There are days in my business where I do not have to be up early and instead of getting up frantically with my husband to get the girls ready I can lay in bed a little longer. I lay there and watch my husband come back from his shower all fresh and clean with his body glistening with water and his hair damp on his head and his towel wrapped around his waist. I watch him…I watch him drop the towel….and proceed to put his clothes on while nonchalantly asking me about the jobs we have on the schedule.  Sometimes he will drop the towel and ask “do we have time”…knowing that we don’t and the kids are up and in the other room but it brings a smile to my sleepy face.

I love the feeling that I get thinking about how hard he works to make sure our family is ok. I love knowing that even though he sometimes doesn’t understand the mental pressure that I am under that he does know I hate to do dishes and he does them more often than not.  I feel taken care of, loved, appreciated and admired.

Omg!!! He makes me so mad sometimes because we think so different.  I am the “we are gonna do this” person and he is the “how are we going to do this” person. I am the “just do it” person and he is the “where are the resources to do it” person.  This has been the case since the beginning of our relationship and it is the reason I am still sane and it is also the reason he has more fun in his life.

I love that warm and comfy feeling I get when he spoons me.  I love that flutter in my heart when I hear the garage open signaling he is home.  I love having a loving father for my children.  I love that even though I work outside the home there are just some things that I just don’t and don’t have to do…i.e. fix things, take out the trash, get up when there is a strang sound in the middle of the night and pick up heavy stuff.

I love being a wife. Why would a guy want to be with or marry a woman whose mantra is “I don’t need a man.”  Words are powerful.  In reality we all can figure out how to get along without a partner in life but life is so much sweeter with someone to love and someone who loves you.

I know some people have had love and lost it or maybe something happened to their special person but those memories of their loved one is still special.  I pray that everyone finds love and that that love will endure forever.

I love being still in love after 12 years of marriage.  Happy Valentines Day Morgan!

Did it once doing it again!

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Yep a year ago lost 20lb...gained it back...

This is so hard for me to look at…but I know I only have myself to blame….I can not even think of fitting into those jeans today but by May I will be back in them. Twenty pounds may not seem like much but on a 5’4 frame it is a lot to gain back. I am sharing this to help others along the way but the main reason is to hold myself personally and publicly accountable to myself. This really is not about anyone but me. I know why I gained the weight back. I gained it back because I stopped doing what was working…eating clean and working out. I let stress and various challenges in life change my focus. I actually handle stress better when I eat clean and work out so why did I fall off the wagon…because I bought my own excuses…like:

I deserve to eat this peach cobbler late at night and not go work out because I dealt with a lot of stress today when in reality my thoughts should have been…wow let me go work out to release some of this stress and I will make sure I eat super clean so I can have the energy to deal with lifes issues.

Or

I am going to eats at my favorite bbq spot and eat mac and cheese and 10 bbq wings dripping in bbq sauce because one of trucks broke down and I am mad…but actually I should have said…I better make sure I continue to eat clean and healthy so I don’t break down.

Or

I sold a lot of jobs today so I am going to reward myself by going to my favorite restaurant and ordering everything on the menu that I like…what I should have done was say wow I am do proud of myself for selling a lot of jobs today so I will finish work early, pack a healthy pic nic and take my girls to the park and play for the rest of the day:)

I could have done so many things differently for the last half of the year but you know what no one ever made progress with coulda, woulda, shoulda so you know what I am going to shake this yukky feeling off and continue on the path that I restarted and focus on the progress I have made in the last 30 days:) In fact today I ate totally clean and I went outside and played with my 8 year old daughter! Rock on:)

Lunch

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I love Indian food and Tandoori chicken is one of my faves…I try not to get the naan because I am staying away from bread but I do load up on meats and veggies.  Stay away from anything drowned in sauce(hard to do…yummy). I usually post something about the breakfast I eat but I thought it might be good to show what I’m eating for lunch too…..for one thing I’m thinking that might help other people and for two it keeps me accountable;) Rock on!